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Honeymoon [Lustig gemeinter OS von saturday und Z.ahra]

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Honeymoon [Lustig gemeinter OS von saturday und Z.ahra] Empty Honeymoon [Lustig gemeinter OS von saturday und Z.ahra]

Beitrag  Gast So 08 Jun 2008, 02:44

Honeymoon


Sarah (saturday) und ich sind auf die Idee für diese Twilight-Verarsche gekommen, weil mir langweilig war und ich zu nichts Lust hatte. Besser gesagt, habe ich sie gebeten, was vorzuschlagen, das ich tun könnte, aber ich hätte nie damit gerechnet, dass sie mit etwas ankommt, wozu ich lust habe. Naja, aber der Versuchung eines Rollenspiels konnte ich dann doch nicht widerstehen. grins
Also, hier ist das bearbeitete Script eines MSN-Gesprächs.
Viel Spaß damit, ich hoffe ihr verzeiht uns unsere Dummheit und lacht vielleicht sogar ein paar Mal. Honeymoon [Lustig gemeinter OS von saturday und Z.ahra] 851892
Achja, und noch was: Tut mir leid, dass es in Englisch ist, die Autorinnen hatten beide einen Englischtag und konnten kurzzeitig keine andere Sprache sprechen...


B: Edward? Where in Aro's beard are you taking me?
E: …you´re waaaay too interesting
B: *punch*
E: Oh my god! My face. My PRETTY face…
B: Edward, I'm sorry, now I broke my hand, but i had to hit you! I think there's some problem with your mind!
B: No, Edward, that’s not you! YOU are much more decent. I think some ghosts live inside your body. I don't want to sleep with ghosts…ugh…
E: You don´t want to…??? But, why? I´m SO PRETTY!!! Ain´t I pretty enough???
B: Well, you ARE pretty enough, but…WAIT. There's something…there's a boil on your nose!
E: NOOOOO!!! *depri*
B: Red and disgusting! I thought your body wasn't living? Did you lie to me?
E: It´s a pimple. Why do i have pimples? OMG.
B: That's what I'm asking you.
E: I mean. I´m dead (and pretty, of course).
B: I CANNOT sleep with a guy who has pimples! I CANNOT sleep with someone who shares his body with ghosts!
E: But with that wolfbugger you could???
B: He doesn't have pimples…that's the only criterion.
E: But he isn´t pretty at all!
B: Oh yes he is.
E: No.
B: YES.
E: No…

B: Edward? Did I hurt you?
E: Yes.
B: I'm sorry! Please take me baaaack *sob*
E: You hurt my heart. *would cry if he could*
B: Oh my gosh, I hurt your - which heart?
E: The center of my feelings!
B: But it’s DEAD. You have to realize that eventually.
E: Well. I still HAVE TO have a heart. Otherwise I couldn´t love you
B: No. Love is about your mind. Your heart's only job is to make the blood circle through your veins. Didn't you study biology on the university?
E: Have a heart and soul and body, let´s see what this love can dooo…baby i´m perfect for you *sings* …of course I did. But…try to be a little bit more romantic!
B: Oh, that's what you want? Okay, then, I’ll try to be a little bit more gooey.
E: Gooey…
B: Edward, one and only, most beautiful, loving and amazing creature of this world, I'm willing to give you my body, my sould and my mind now and forever. Where's the bed?
E: Behind the strange-looking door over there!
B: Oh! Let’s get in RIGHT NOW! What are you waiting for?
E: Come on, oh my adorable Bella!
B: Oh! Stop!
E: What?
B: It's either "sorry" or "pardon", darling! So, what did you say?
E: Pardon...
B: Nice. Very nice indeed. So, what I wanted to know. Is there any chance of getting pregnant?
E: I don´t think so…won´t be a problem.
B: Why? Are you impotent?
E: Because I don’t have any bodyliquids.
B: That's…a problem, because…eehh how shall I explain…you will need blood to make the THING work.
E: Oh…
B: I'm sorry
E: I said, I´ll try!
B: Okay…it's senseless, but maybe you think that's romantic…let's try.
E: Moooment…YOU wanted to do it!
B: Yeah i wanted, but i thought you would be so kind and inform me about your possibilities.
E: You knew, but you really want a child, don´t you?
B: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES…a little Edward…a little, cute Edward…*sing*
E: Well…
B: We could adopt a cute child and kill it and change it
E: I´ll tell you a secret…
B: What's the secret?
E: Before Carlisle bit me, I had frozen some sperms!
B: You didn't!
E: I DID. We could use them!
B: Oh my gosh.
E: I hope they are still alive.
B: You knew I would come eventually, didn't you? That’s so romantic, Edward.
E: Oh, I love you, Bella!
B: Let's try!
E: YES!
B: *try*
E: *try too*
B: *try harder*
E: *try faster*
B: Edward?
E: Yes?
B: Do you think it would help if I take my clothes off?
E: Maybe…I’m not sure…
B: Let's try *try*
E: *tries too* WAIT!
B: Hmhmhhhm?
E: Should I take my clothes off too??
B: O PLEASE DO THAT!
E: Mkay *does*
B: I'm shocked you didn't till now *goes on trying*
E: Emmett doesn´t like it if I run around naked. So one time, he punched me in my pretty face! *tries*
B: Chrm…Edward, love?
E: Bella, honey?
B: I said the blood stuff would be problematic…
E: Yes?
B: …I was right…
E: *feeling un-male*
B: You know what?
E: No.
B: Haha. Right. You can't read my mind. Haha. I'd feel bad about that in your place. No. Just kidding. Ehh...i forgot what i wanted to say...Ugh. You're dazzling me, a***.
E: *feeling un-vampirelike* I´m sad. I´ll go to kill some "animals"…
B: OH! No I remember: I can't replace your missing self-esteem, nor can I repair your ruffled ego, but what I wanted to say is: We are on a higher intellectual level. We don't need sex.
E: But if it´s your desire…let´s get some sperm!
B: Noooooo, silly…that's not what i meant.
E: I was serious.
B: I know, but, what i meant is…
E: Is...?
B: We could do...”dirty talk” or what's the crap called?
E: Or sado maso!!
B: No I like SM, but you're too virginlike. I would feel like a rapist.
E: No, wait. Wouldn´t work anyway. You can´t hurt me and I would kill you…*sad*
B: So what about dirty talk?
E: Alright.
B: I begin: MUD.

B: Do you feel so hot instantly, too?
E: Extremely. Wanna get dirty?
B: Go on. It's your turn.
E: Slobber.
B: Iiiiiiiiihhhh that sounds good, too. But i still do have the
atomic bomb in dirty talking…

B: I have to wait…
E: Come off it!
B:…to make it…more exciting…Ähm you do speak German, don't you? Because it's not English…
E: Alright…
B: Gashydrathaltige sulfatreduzierende Gpifluoressenz!
E: Bella! I´m shocked!
B: Hehe.

B: So? Did it work?
E: Yeah.
B: You…did?
E: What?
B: Chrmchrm. And it’s „PARDON”.
E: No. It isn´t.
B: Sure it is.
E: Nooo. I’m older than you!
B: Aaaand? What does that tell us? That you're greyer, impotenter and…more boring?
E: When i lived, the people spoke different English! …And you smell like a werewolf!
B: Shut up, bloodsucker! I learned that word from Jake. I'm even able to spell it. What do say NOW?
E: Apple-polisher.
B: Well, that's…creative. You won. But you also lost. ME.
E: I still have my sperm!
B: Well, I wish you two a lucky and happy life.
E: Oh. We´ll have…Excuse me, I´m going to kill Jak-...a spider. *runs away*

Gast
Gast


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